One day a train was traveling through the English countryside. That was in the days when trains had small compartments, and in one particular compartment there were four people. There was a young girl, quite pretty, who looked like a student or someone who was starting her first job; there was an old lady, dressed in black with bags and magazines and knitting; there was an army officer in his mid-thirties, dressed in his uniform and proper in his manners; and finally there was a young cockney, casually dressed with sparkle in his eyes and ever ready to have a joke. It was quite obvious that both the men were attracted to the young girl, though they didn’t show it.
Suddenly the train went into a tunnel; the lights had not been on, so for half a minute the carriage was in complete darkness, and in the darkness came the sound of a large kiss followed almost immediately by a loud slap. What took place while the train was in the tunnel? When the train finally emerged and it was light again in the carriage, everybody saw the officer with a bleeding nose and a swollen eye.
And the old lady, seeing that, thought to herself: ‘What a brave young lady, who dared to hit the officer for stealing a kiss in such a cowardly way!’ And the young girl, seeing the suffering of the officer, was puzzled: ‘How strange”, she thought, ‘that the officer kissed the young old lady not me!’
The poor officer, having two injuries that caused him more than a little pain and embarrassment, considered to himself: ‘That cockney’s quite a clever chap! He kissed the girl and the girl hit me!’
And the cockney laughed silently to himself at the trick he had played. “I am a clever chap”, he thought to himself. ‘I kissed the back of my hand, hit the officer in the face and nobody said a word!’
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The train went into a tunnel and it got dark in the compartment.
The cockney kissed the back of his hand and hit the officer in the face.
Everybody saw the officer’s bleeding nose.
The cockney laughed to himself at the trick he had played.